I'm laying in your front yard are you home
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The Rock is playing the tooth fairy. I can't believe I used to smell what that man was cooking
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Do you remember puking up your retainer into the toilet and putting it right back in your mouth?
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
I wish i didn't black out tuesday so i could have cherished our moment together
Throwing up together is NOT a cherishable moment...
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
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