drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
when I picked him up he smelled like cheeseburgers, had a bite mark around his left nipple and we think someone stabbed him in the forehead with a pencil... it was like the Hangover meets Texas Chainsaw Massacre
First day at work... I clogged up the office toilet on purpose to assert my dominance.
Hillary is trying to make pickle pops with vodka and sell them to kids at the ball park.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No I can't cure herpes. I'm an EMT, not Jesus.
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Chick in class has 69 tattooed on the back of her neck. Target acquired.
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
I don't remember what you were saying to me in the bathroom. But whatever it was, yes, because i remember nodding a lot.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
we found her on the beach half naked talking to a palm tree
Which half?
Randomize