he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
just woke up to two already rolled blunts and a full explanation of what happened last night. I love my gf
So Delta doesn't take cash. I used my card to buy a drink and asked the attendant if she could leave it open.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
So i just got guilted into doing a tequila shot by a group of guys chanting "USA!" at me.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
He casually compared computer science to childbirth and I was like "hey, as someone who has wanted to fuck you for six months now, could you please never talk about childbirth ever again"
He sent me a pic of his coffee mug to be like "I'm having coffee too.” \nImagine that. Morning coffee. In your boring ass mug. Dick pic or gtfo.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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