Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
I'd like to believe that in some alternate universe we are living this wonderful lesbian life together..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
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