Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
There's a certain level of slut that i can handle.... I think she just broke that scale
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize