Whoa Z and x make the same sound
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So, halfway through sex he stops and starts crying. He said he's worried god hates him for all his bad decisions...think he meant to imply I was one of them...
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
a search helicopter?!
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
I have fence marks all over my body
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
He is getting no nudes from me. I don't even care if I'm losing his legal advice.
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
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