ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
I should show up to the gym drunk more often. I felt like i really motivated all the fat people.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just got my stitches out.. Now I can give a proper hand job
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
So I think my motto should be "losing bras and dignity every weekend" but like in a really amazing way
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Randomize