can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
Just remembered getting lost in a "shortcut" through yards and GPSing my way home last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept looking at stripers and saying " Go to College"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Bro what are you doing Thursday the day before I go to jail??
I think your high point was when the quesadilla was in your mouth and you were screaming "I can't chew!" and the Taco Bell guy just kinda stared at you like he wanted to strangle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
My dad just invited me to smoke a blunt with him. Parent-child bonding at its finest (and highest).
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