I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
Bear grylls would be proud of my improvisation. Just used her vibrator to massage my back after hurting it at work.
Randomize