if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
her facebook's as public as her vagina
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Give us adventure or give us cock. Or cocktails.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you start one little fire by the lake and the police want to talk to you all night...
But like now I know, men who are vegetarians are significantly worse in bed.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
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