just heard the best thing ever: calling people's kids "fuck trophies"
I fell asleep with crest white strips on and ate one...
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
I'm glad we have the kind of friendship where if either of us is too drunk to fuck a hot guy, we pass the responsibility to each other and get the job done.
I just re read that. We really need to get our lives together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
I was behind him snuggling, I told him I was the big spoon and he told me I was too little it was more like he was wearing a backpack.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
I'm at this party and a blind kid just walked in and asked "where is the fucking pong table"
Oh please. Preoccupy yourself with my penis.
Eh, it could have been worse. I may or may not have been wearing a jedi cloak while getting my dick sucked.
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