and then he said that the only reasonable explanation as to why I got swine flu was because all I ever do is join the bandwagon
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
how did we start talking about space blow jobs?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Nothing like a little chlamydia diagnosis to ring in the new year
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Please tell me you did not shit your Disney princess costume.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
When your job has killed your spirit to the point that you don't want to flirt with the cute, tall guy at Enterprise
GIRL PLEASE. GO BACK AND POP THE TITTY OUT
i dont believe you. i want proof. if you end up at a hospital send me a pic.
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Randomize