I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
I told him i wanted to be exclusively cheating with him
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I spent the whole weekend building houses out of popsicle sticks for my bowls. How was your weekend?
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
Are you awake? I feel like I need to confess my sins to someone not on this side of the country.
Being pregnant feels like you have a hangover everyday.. Don't listen to what anyone says about how wonderful it is
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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