And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
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