I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I feel like my life has just been one 21 year long episode of "i shouldn't be alive"
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
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I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
Have you ever chugged beers in the hospital parking garage with your mom?
The only thing I remember is vomiting and then feeding my dog a Mcdonalds cheeseburger and telling him yolo
I feel like a monkey keeps fucking me in the ear with a trombone as a dick.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
When you sleep in the bathroom, you're no longer a guest.
Nothing showshows the government the middle finger more than spending your tax refund on drugs
She fucked my eyebrows.. I've never had that done before.
Wait... Plucked, or Fucked?
Fucked, but I understand your need to clarify
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
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