just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
Did I see you at the bar last night?
Yes. You just kept grabbing my boobs and saying how much better they are than yours...
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
I have had flashes of 69ing, a strawberry flavored condom and begging him to sleep naked.
I'm drinking because I just started here and every single person I work with wants to quit and when I asked a coworker how she's doing she literally just started crying.
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