If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
you were almost asleep and mumbling "your penis is on my cheek"
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
You just kept insisting that you and the homeless man went way back, and that you bonded over how cold you both were.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
she used teeth so i didnt tell her when i was cumming ...........dont get mad get even
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
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