Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
when a girl says 'did you just try to kiss me' you should leave the bar. trust me.
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
another holiday season passes without receiving a dick in a box, where did i go wrong in life?
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I think I should write my liver a thank you note. If it had my work ethic, I would be dead now.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
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