because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm having mini little movies in my head. Like for example. You were talking to a blue whale with jazz man sunglasses, but not the ray charles jazz sunglass. More like sunglasses that are round. Anyway, he has a baguette and stupid french hat. And you , you had your harry potter glasses.
I AM NOT THE MAN IN THIS RELATIONSHIP.
It's shit like this that makes people think we're gay.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
So how was the sex with me last night?
No worse than usual.
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just catapulted a jelly bean off of his hard dick into his mouth.......Happy Easter!
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Hi I'm on my way to give you multiple screaming orgasms and Easter candy
I worry about your feelings an awful lot for somebody who gets off on making you cry
He shit in the fireplace
I don't think you understand I turned down McDonalds for you.
Randomize