I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
And please let him know I don't normally go off on long rants about feminist theory. That was totally the vodka talking.
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
What happened to no more shots?
It went out the window just like my dreams
She was calling him Bob Saget and asking him to buy her shots....how do you think the night went?
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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