yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Ill bet we could have atleast fucked a girl who fucked a guy who has fucked tara reid. That's a famous circle right?
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I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Nothing like all your friends getting engaged to remind you how much fun sleeping around is.
He held me the entire night. Not endearing kind of way. Like kidnapping or held hostage kind of way.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
He said the main reason he fucked me was cause of my storm trooper tattoo. IT ATTRACHES ALL THE HOT NERDS
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
After we'd both come, we started writing a book about dragons. Woke up this morning to a full English breakfast. Can't thank you enough for introducing us
she said she was so hungover this morning in a way that sounded like she was apologizing for thinking she was attracted to me last night...
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