ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
Hey man thanks for carrying me in and out of that frat house. There's no I in team.
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
What I do when I'm blackout drunk is none of my business.
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
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