I was debating whether her purse was real then I saw her puke in it.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I am going to get arrested. I am yelling fuck repeatedly, wearing a Bird jersey and polka dot pants while pounding wine. Amazing mug shot to follow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
That's cool. At least the punch line of my story isn't I shit in a booth at Denny's.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
Throwing my sister a bisexual bachelorette party was the best idea ever. I made out with both strippers and the hot bartender promised to "gay marry" me if I take him as my date to the wedding.
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