She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
My ex best friend's ex fuck buddy is visiting. There was no other option but day drinking.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm ready to take a few years of my life this weekend
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
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