So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
if someoen knew that someone accidentally drunkly kissed your boyfriend would you want them to tell you/?
followup question: what if both somones were me?
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
You know you have an interesting job when you go to work and have to Google search "How to get poop out of a dryer".
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