I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
turkey basters and jungle juice, is that really the whole shopping list for new year's?
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
He wants to tie me naked and spread out on his table, press a vibrator to my clit and feed me ice cream.
That is my stoner wet dream!
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Randomize