Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Talk about the highs and lows of a night out: had a threesome, then got robbed at knifepoint.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It seems to me that once you begin comparing Jesus to hercules and calling him a super pimp you should put the wine away...
Tim said I dropped my taco in a puddle and still ate it.
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
Dude, you like sabotaged my shower time by walking in and eating a snack pack on the toilet. That's messed up on levels that haven't even been created.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
My left boob kept making random appearances last night.
That's a lot of judgement coming from a man wearing a dress made from a bedsheet.
Imagine how different my life would be if I could find a man who gave me more pleasure than pizza at 2am when I'm drunk.
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
If you’re wondering why the bong is outside the garage door just know I was being environmentally efficient by not using the freezer to chill my shit
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