sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
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My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Now I have the walk of shame to give the receptionist the bathroom key back, I've had it for 20 minutes. I should just smile and wink. She knows what went down.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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