So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
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this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Aaaaand I just watched him face plant in front of the taxi. This is why we don't invite him to margarita night.
I tried telling the cop that I don't do drugs, and that if he'd just take me home I could prove it by showing him my D.A.R.E. certificate.
Fried chicken is a must. Do strippers eat fried chicken or should I plan on something else?
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This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
Watermelon juice. Makes everything better. Gin. Wine. EVERYTHING.
Getting day drunk before work is perfectly acceptable when its 99 cent margaritas.
Everyone was in jail by 10:30. I'd say it was a successful bachelor party.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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