I just jerked it to the same porn two nights in a row... and she says I have problems with commitment...
My fucking roommate unpluged my alarm; I pissed on his clean clothes.
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
My ass is underappreciated
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life hack: hotbox while in the car wash. It'll change your life.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Uhmmmm is there really any way to tactfully ask "you into me jerking you off with my feet... or nah" cause if you find one let me know 😂
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Randomize