she was mega hot - except for the poop under her fingernails
my neighbors are having lesbo sex right now.
I'm on my way.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am in macy's and just straight up heard an old lady taking a crap in her depends.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
Liquid roulette time! Black Mystery Cups are filled with either ipecac, whiskey, or NyQuil. Let's have fun
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
If you think hives from an allergic reaction to lube is funny, remind me to tell you the story about how I got a black eye from masturbating.
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
Randomize