You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
Don't byou dare ruin egg salad by putting your penis in it that would be so sad.
you want your laptop back?
are you giving me my laptop back, or cashing in on our break up sex?
both.
come over.
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
LET US USE OUR GENITALS TO CELEBRATE THIS VICTORY
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I wonder how drunk we can get before Christmas Caroling turns into trespassing.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
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