White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
Remind them to make the "above the influence" commercial about us fallin off a ferris wheel
Dude I'm drinking a martini out of a water bottle, I've become my parents.
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's not socially acceptable to be drunk in adult world. That fact makes me die a little inside.
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
so... i have a picture of you and three other girls making kissy faces at this giant stuffed banana you're holding. however, you seem to be violently screaming at it.
Those bitches did NOT have my back.
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
Randomize