Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
Is it bad that I just used Smirnoff as mouthwash?
He thinks MY vagina is tight. That's saying something.
i'm surprised you didn't wake up. like i literally came when he was fingering me as i was spooning with you and all you did was mumble "that's a good idea, mom" and pull the sheets away from me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he slapped my stomach and proclaimed it a baby-free zone
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Something about getting whistled at in my work clothes while crossing the street with three Nuvarings in my back pocket feels wrong.
They want yo temporarily sterile ass.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He invited me over for shower sex and pizza. Officially the best booty call relationship around.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Kinda suprised you didn't immediately ask about the lesbian ghosts tho
I am just High Enough to train A-Team of bodybuilding squirrels MMA techniques to tear you asunder. And it's not that I want to is just don't you make me do it!
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
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