Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
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Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Just let me pee on you and I'll leave you alone.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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