I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
I accidentally burped into my bong.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
the sex was "jacking off to playboy" bad.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
I've seen you go skiing on a Tuesday, but you think you're too good for TGI Friday's?
There's a kitten on my face and I'm druuuunk
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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