well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
You were hopping up and down because you wanted only his strongest sperms to make it to the egg.
Darwin at his finest.
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he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
i remember going to sleep after the 4th time i threw up this morning and hoping i didn't have to again because then it would be uneven between saturday and sunday. my ocd is getting out of control
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Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
We never leave a bad bitch behind. its a party foul..we'll find you somehow
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
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