i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
the liquor store lady asked about three times if I was sure about buying two fifths of everclear. i told her I wanted to be on cops
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
But besides the pee thing, he sounds like a nice guy.
She has either a C-Section scar or a bullet wound, I can't quite tell
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New low reached: a cockroach has actually drowned itself in our dirty dishes. We are heathens. Cleaning dance party tonight. No excuses.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
Randomize