so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
Next time you see his dad you should let him know you are now Eskimo brothers.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
YOU CANT JUST BLOW GUYS BC THEY’RE NICE TO YOU LEXI
I CAN IF I WANT TO
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize