she got to the point every few minutes she checked to see if her boobs were still there.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I left myself a trail of jello shots, that ended at his door. OR maybe he left me a trail of jello shots at his door. DO I GO IN!?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
Thanks for your number, i want to ski with you, do party with you and sleep with you. Lucas.
I think I just ate eggs off of a plate covered in cocaine.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
I'm just gonna yell "SURPRISE ME" and see what happens. No way this could go wrong
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
Randomize