Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
so she called me drunk and made me stay on the phone with her while she puked.
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize