You know, I didn't realize this at the time, but it appears that I am being "heavily petted" by 3 grown men in that pic.
If these were biblical times then you'd be a Roman Senator.
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would you want me to push you down the stairs OR throw you a baby shower?? Real talk
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
We celebrated International Women's Day by spending $700 and taking our tops off at the strip club
The boys offered to pay but we went halfs because we're feminists
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
My ass is underappreciated
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
I told my coworker that I'm going to a dinner party and was asked to bring wine and pregnancy tests and he was like.. I miss being 20
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
You couldn’t remember the word hand jibber. Instead, your drunk ass offered the bartenders “unlimited hand fritters” if they wouldn’t cut you off.
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