I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
If you're fucking that other dude, I'll take the sloppy seconds. I don't care.
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the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
If you're not going to call the girls I bring around by name, at least don't call them by number. It's been cockblocking since girl #47. Dick.
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
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