hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
you rearended a car with your bike and then puked all over his back windshield. They made BUI's for you.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Why are you always at the walk in clinic, Lady Chlamydia?
You're not allowed to make that my permanent nickname.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
He Dutch ovened me while I was hiding under the covers from his mom. Needless to say it did not end well.
Well there's only 4 people in my class, we've watched a video, the instructors encouraged us to start using cocaine and now we are on break.
It's been productive.
PLEASE HELP ME THE AMERICANS ARE YELLING ABOUT TURKEY, I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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