There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Be prepared to possibly be invited to a fancy strip club breakfast on Friday and be prepared to say yes.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
I forgot to tell you. Your neighbor was walking his tiny dog and saw me crawl out of my jeep drunk vomiting and holding onto my bumper. He just said: morning! all friendly.
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
Randomize