Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
I knew I shouldn't have slept with her...my dick looks like a stegosaurus tail
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
New war strategy! The ex-girlfriend of my ex-girlfriend is now my twice a week booty call!
I smell like bonfire and ex-boyfriends
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
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