sometimes i shoot so far i amaze even myself.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
Just saw a group of asian tourists in safari outifts bow in thanks to the starbucks guys. And no Im not high.
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
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