I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
MASS TEXT: who ever dared Todd to suck on the Clorox wipes last night.. good goin jackass. you can come visit him, hes in room 266, AFTER hes done getting his stomach pumped.
HE DARED ME TO DARE HIM... DONT PUT THAT ON ME.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
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I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
It felt like a sumo wrestler slapped me. With a wet hand. 8 times in a row.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
My brother didnt wanna sleep with her because she was my friend. Did I miss the memo where we're not supposed to be fucking each others friends? Oh well too late.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Where was Alyssa when you were sniffing the bouncer?
Passed out on some guy who looked like someone from Duck Dynasty.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
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