I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
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I'm really proud of her, she waited until she was on tiled floor to start puking on the ground
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
THEY HAVE BEEN GOING AT IT FOR 2 HOURS AND I HEAR THEM BANGING THIS IS BULLSHIT
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
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He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Sex in a tree, bucket list CHECK!
we're so committed to being not committed
I dropped my pants and she just stared until she asked how is that even possible? Best night ever lmao
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
Randomize