# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Apparently it's ok to apply for building permits drunk. I feel like there definitely is a law preventing that.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
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