So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
she gave me a handjob while we were watching elf.... it's that time of year again!!
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
I think I slept in the cheesecake last night. Either that or I had a wet dream. Whatever happened I need to wash my pants.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
Randomize